history
it must stop
by anders pearson
Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:35:07
i was walking home from work last night and was appalled to see a truck coming up Broadway with giant screens on the side and blaring loudspeakers advertising some kind of health club membership. i guess advertisers have decided that the 70 foot tall calvin klein ads on the sides of buildings, ads on the tops of cabs and sides of buses, 20 minutes of ads before movies in the theatre, 15 minutes of ads at the beginning of DVDs that you can't skip, product placements, super imposed animated ads in televised sports, banner and flash ads on the web, popups and popunders, ads in magazines and endless commercials on tv aren't enough anymore. time to try something even more annoying.
i remember hearing that after sept. 11th no one was buying ads anymore and all the advertisers were going out of business. i thought "wow, maybe some good will come out of all this after all." apparently the ones that are still around have just gotten even more desperate to grab our eyeballs and control our minds.
there's no escape anymore. i think we're reaching the point where nothing is too sleazy for advertisers. i remember seeing King's "I have a dream" speech turned into a commercial and getting mildly nauseous. how long before footage of sept. 11th makes it into an ad? maybe greyhound or amtrak advertising a "safer" way to travel? how much do you think McDonald's would have paid to have their logo on the side of the WTC, clearly visible to every eyeball in the world as we sat, hypnotized, watching over and over again for months? the TV networks are already cashing in on it with endless exploitative "news" shows that they know are guaranteed to bring in the ratings and it's been a wonderful propaganda vehicle for promoting "patriotism", censorship, and racism. U2 incorporated the names of the victims in their superbowl half-time show.
i'm going to go throw up now. then i'm going to have a Pepsi Cola <small>TM</small>.
comments
lani - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:36:07
you forgot the ads in bathroom stalls.emile - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:40:07
the urinal ads i don't mind so much. lessens the awkward silence a bit in a crowded bathroom. in quebec there were no dividing walls between urinals. there was also no social stigma preventing the guy next to me from, well, hmm, watching me. crazy canadians.tuck - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:37:07
i was in an audi commercial last week. as anyone who bothered to read the other crap about me in the movie knows, somehow i got in and now fast-talking chinese agents call me all the time. i would like to say that i agreed to the commercial because it was a free trip to a section of the Great Wall (where the commercial was filmed) but the truth, which always prevails, is that it added some more illegal-dvd money to my fund. i dunno. after reading recent anguished comments over the advertising industry... and of course having felt the same way myself for years... i feel hypocritical. money for me. money for me. it is neat to see yourself on tv, for my weak-self anyway. but at the same time, it is basically direct support for something i think is disgusting regardless of the location. it was something to add to my list of life experiences, but i guess im not proud of it when all is said and done. the truth is, the audi A8 is a decent car... basically an all-wheel-drive race car which has tank-like safety. but wouldnt you rather hear that because i told you from actually being in one, and because you all kind of know me a little- rather then from some idiotic broadcast to the masses which would say anything to get you to buy one? how does broadcast advertising work? how can so many people think that companies who are trying their damnedest to sell us something are the best people to listen to when considering buying something?sarah - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:41:07
They make money. They make money. And furthermore, they make money. When these three situations stop, they'll try anything else to get those three situations back on track. Everyone has a little illegal-dvd money fund. But you had fun, and traveled. Screw the rest. Fun. And travel. Travel. And. Fun. There is something inherently great in those three words, in any order, taken invididually or collectively.jp - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:38:07
I got harranged by some agressive advertising last night. some wack-job tried to sell me a knife right on the corner of mass ave and newbury in boston. then he tried to stab me with it.tuck - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:42:07
wow- newbury eh? i've had static up in the backbay fens area and around gillians walking to my car (that took me by surprise because it was a girl. not that girls can't stab or shoot as accurately as anyone else, but statistically it's much less common) were there other people around? or was this a 5am walking to the car sort of thing? the flash of danger can cause some serious shakes for a while, as you know well from days in baltimore. did you out run him/her or donate the innards of your wallet to their cause? or just use instant-death-spray from your lab?jp - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:43:07
nope. broad nightlight, about 7 pm or so. people everywhere. WTF. he'd had a go at the kids right in front of us, so I was somewhat in flight mode already. umbrella are good people-pushers when need be. dude was fucked in the head. after I kept moving along, went right to the same deal with the folks behind us. maybe if someone just bought the fucking knife, he'd stop being a weenie with it.lani - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:39:07
ever think about tattooing a ruler to your [insert preferred noun or pet name here]. that way you could lessen ambiguity and hopefully people would spend less time wondering how much of a man you are. don't forget to make it metric for the canandians.Mark Boudreau - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:44:07
First, tatoo...ouch! Second, since the body part in question varies in size, not to mention remains rather limp throughout the peeing process, a ruler would be a less than optimal solution (not to mention rather unflattering). A better solution would be to turn towards the watcher so he could get a better look...and you could stain his shoes in the process. Granted, I would never do that, but if anyone else does, it would be entertaining to hear about it.kurtis - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:45:07
I once knew a guy who was in a stall peeing and saw under the bottom the other guy's shoes. Well I guess the shoes were all shiny and looked nice so this guy I knew (being something of a dick) peed on those shiny shoes. So the guy in the next stall finishes his business (after having his shoes peed on), and comes out and arrests this dickhead I know. The guy's shoes were shiny because cops have to wear those shiny shoes ... The guy I knew went to jail for a week or so ... kinda funny. Moral is don't pee on other people :). Waaaayyy off-topic.lani - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:46:07
in response to the pain involved in tatooing, two words for you: Prince Albert. i wonder how painful it would be to have it tatooed whilst firm. then you could simultaneously suggest (or exaggerate) it's inflated (get it?...sorry...) length AND give fluffers a day job.emile - Tue 19 Feb 2002 09:47:07
piercing is a single (or double, depending...) moment of pain versus tattooing which is hours of searing burning sensation. penis tattoos are very difficult, since the skin is so thin. the stencil is applied whilst the reciipiant is firm, and the tattooing is done when he has calmed down. (i almost used a gender neutral instead of "he" in that last sentance. my frikkan gender PC almost overtook common sense...)