gumby tea
By tuck 04 Feb 2002
i went to Tang Ren Teng (or is it Teng Ren Tang…) over the weekend which is the most well known traditional chinese medicine shop in china. it was kind of a super mall for powders and leaves and other smelly things. after examining all the bottles of drinkable alcohol tonic containing wormies and little coily snakies (and mother effin’ big coily snakies) deer penises (don’t you just want to say “peni” for the plural?) i came the the “root area.” the ginseng roots that by mystical guidance (or pure chance as we say in the west) have a humanoid shape, meaning two little sprouts for arms and longer ones for legs coming off of a trunkish looking trunk, despite the fact that they are the same size and weight as the other roots, take the price from a couple hundred RMB to 35,000RMB. They all looked kind of like Gumby. there was one root that looked really, amazingly like Gumby which was 280,000RMB (divide by 8 for US$.)
<p>for some stupid, stupid, stupid reason. </p>
<p>actually, maybe the Ginseng Gumby i’d pay more for… but i’d just want to have it around to show off. i could never make a tea out of Ginseng Gumby, or cut his limbs off regardless of their medicinal abilities. it’s Ginseng Gumby you sick bastards, not some kind of food. it was hard to leave him there, all strapped down in his red velvet bed. sorry Ginseng Gumby. sorry.</p>
<p>but anyway. my thoughts now are on Ginseng Gumby. and JP. see, if i can rescue Ginseng Gumby somehow, maybe JP can then clone other Ginseng Gumbies at his new lab in Japan- and we can sell Ginseng Gumbies to everyone for very stupid, stupid, stupidly high prices around asia.</p>
<p>mwa ha. i wonder how many blockheads have bought Ginseng Gumbies over the years. get it? “Blockheads”? </p>
<p>they’re from the show too. Gumbys enemies. see, they would make a tea of Ginseng Gumby because they hate him.</p>
<p>thiss snake tonic tasssstesss weird.</p>
<p>im going away now.</p>