Part Five: Please Make Him Stop Writhing, er, Writing!
By tuck 20 May 2002
Part Five: Please Make Him Stop Writhing, er… Writing! (Section One. Section Two is in comment One heh
<p>Part Four covered the how and why behind studying in china. now ill discuss the important and controversial reason why the study involves nose knowing (i.e. why my nose is now more crooked than it was before). reintroduced at the very end of part four was the smell of smeared grass which represents the sometimes unforgiving but always genuine physical experience itself. now, here, im forcing myself into a physically experiential situation where the mental state in question, <span class="caps">SAM</span>, is required to manifest. yes, there are other was of exploring these things. no, they cant substitute for my work here. no, it isnt merely studying one of those chinese things which carry a requirement of psychophysical unity. yes, it has to be fighting. yes, of course i can tell you why. </p>
<p>there are three main reasons why the fighting approach is irreplaceable:</p>
<p>first, the reality and threat of full-contact creates a situation unable to be duplicated in other training atmospheres. my very first response to the consideration of a total absence of self under full contact or life threatening circumstances was that: if i dont perceive anything because my self is absent, then id have no self-care, no will to survive. without my self or my me wanting to resist death or loss, how could i possibly live or win? thats the real crux of the phenomenon in this arena: you do survive. in fact, thanks to <span class="caps">SAM</span>, your chances are better at surviving while in <span class="caps">LRC</span> for all the reasons previously mentioned: the lack of both emotion and controlled conscious thought provide a mental state allowing for heightened physical capability. when the <span class="caps">LRC</span> does take over under circumstances of explosive, violent action, its a serious achievement bordering on the mystical and it indicates a degree of ability unable to be explored in meditation rooms with incense or while doing tai chi in the park. </p>
<p>the second reason why this approach is important is because it involves a direct antagonist. unlike other methods of sinking into <span class="caps">LRC</span> (from target shooting to yoga), in a fight, as mentioned in reason-one above, there is the threat of violence and harm, but, in addition to causing harm, the killer/assailant/opponent (cool, new acronym: <span class="caps">KAO</span>, pronounced “cow”, now to be written that way) is also specifically trying to prevent you from being able to obtain that silent fluidity. unfortunately, losing your self doesnt happen the instant you step on the platform. it happens completely unannounced and unacknowledged (because your self is not there to regard it happening) and usually in phases, if it happens at all. as mentioned, even under agreeable circumstances, this level of refined consciousness is elusive. but now, there’s actually someone trying specifically to render you unable to <span class="caps">SAM</span>ize by getting you riled-up, and otherwise emotionally involved. the <span class="caps">COW</span> (kill me now before it starts, please) is doing whatever it can to get the psychological advantage in the confrontation before attempting to grind you into hamburger. but youre utterly confident (oh god…it would behoove you to stop reading now); you know that if you can just shift into <span class="caps">LRC</span>, you won’t be subject to their cowardly attempts, and, that physically, by milking the benefits of <span class="caps">SAM</span>, your chances of winning (surviving) are good. but, you also know that if you consciously wait for a shift to happen, it never will. if you want it to happen, it wont. if you <span class="caps">NEED</span> it to happen, it still wont happen. and then </p>
********////BAM!\\\\**********
<p>you get nailed, and it just mooooved twice as far away as it was before because now youre upset, maybe confused, probably herding and</p>
********////BAM! <span class="caps">BAM</span>! <span class="caps">KABOOM</span>!\\\\\*******
<p>…now youre lying on the platform looking up at twenty fingers, oh ok, there we go, only 5, now 6, now 7, now wait… is this a… but its only been… hey, i feel like eating lima beans. oh hi coach. what are you doing here? why are you speaking chinese? i’m a misslefish. oh hi coach. wo ye shi zhonguo ren ma? hen youyisu, wo hui shou hanyu. oh, hi coach, hanyu nihongo de iieba chyugokugo. pomplemousse? </p>
<p>the point here is that you cant talk yourself into refined consciousness even if your life is at steak. if you try, you end up merely helping the <span class="caps">COW</span> to keep you distanced from it and the <span class="caps">LRC</span> wont even graze you.</p>