By lani 07 Dec 2002

a couple years ago i was reading up for my still unfinished Teen Stalker Magazine idea. (i think i abandoned it after watching too many cybercrime specials on pedaphilic cyberstalking.) in trying to finish up the quiz section, i did a little online research on cleopatra because the rolling out of a carpet bit struck me as stalker material. i found a site that proposed that cleopatra was not actually as beautiful as she is made out to be in the movies ([that movie preview voice] Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra!!!), but that she really just won people over with her charm, wit, and intelligence.

<p><i>now how to turn that frown upsidedown?</i>  </p>

<p>i was thinking about this in my moon boots (for nostalgia&#8217;s sake though there really isn&#8217;t enough snow) while smoking a galoise legere on the porch.  would it be possible to pass an embarassment i can&#8217;t explain as a cleopatra moment?  you see, i did a betise (a stupid thing).  i don&#8217;t know how it happened, but my only current theory is that i have some sort of personality threshold.  beyond a certain level of nervousness and stress, i think i snap into another personality out of convenience.  </p>

<p>i&#8217;ve been thinking about my bold (at best) introduction to Jim Heath, who is apparently famous for something or other in the science world, since i returned to consciousness from all the tiring conference rigamarole.  i can&#8217;t explain what happened.  i was just embarassingly casual and weird at the same time.  i did manage to get his attention, though it was probably the bad sort.  he kept looking at me like &#8220;do i know you, should i know you, what the hell is going on?!?&#8221;  </p>

<p>and so now i&#8217;m torn between trying to do something cool with my research/career to excuse it (which is unlikely) and considering a change in field with an eventual change in citizenship (which is a lot of trouble).  </p>